Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My penis needs a shock collar
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
