Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
