A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
