I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
