New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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