I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
