I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
