I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
