just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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