I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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