I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
