i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
