My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
