im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
