I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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