Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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