She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's shark week go big or go home
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
