You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Who died my cat blue again?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
