i just google imaged poop.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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