my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
