you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
