i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
