My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize