I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
