i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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