If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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