I feel like I'm in dance class right now
no, he came in my armpit
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
