I hate all girls vehemently.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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