At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's like iHOP with fire
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
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