have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
