I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
