FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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