I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
