Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
