I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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