Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
