The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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