? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You can't just leave with hair like that
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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