He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I supernannyed him into submission
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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