TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
