we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
