Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
