I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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