You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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