Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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