Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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