He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
