I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
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