My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
