i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
