Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
