she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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