farters have to be the big spoon...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
