people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
