do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
